You Might Be a Child of the '80's If...

I was just listening to the Cooper Lawrence Show on the radio (at low volume while reading a chapter about static variables, static methods, and number formatting in Head First Java) when Cooper read off a list of things that might indicate if you were a child of the '80's. I could relate to lot of the things on the list.

Cooper didn't say where she got the list, so I looked it up online. Of course, this is one of those lists that has many different versions, but I think I've found the one that's closest to the one she read.

Anyway, here's the list (as I found it online) with my comments in italics:

You Might Be a Child of the '80's If...

• You know what a "burnout" is.
  Not positive. Is that from Breakfast Club? I'm possibly the only person on the planet who didn't see it until I went to college and haaaated when I did.


• You owned/operated a 'Trapper Keeper'
  Oh, of course; new one every year. Always filled with Lamborghini Countach folders.


• You know what "Psych" means. Unfortunately, yes.


• Once, while spending hours in the arcade, you actually lined up quarters on the top panel of the game -- to "reserve" your spot.
  Lining up quarters? Probably, but isn't being in an arcade enough of an '80's indicator on its own?


• You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".
  How Mr. Miagi trained Daniel to block punches in Karate Kid.


• You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer".
  Yeah, I guess.


• You can name at least half of the members of the elite "Brat Pack".
  Not off the top of my head.


• You know who Tina Yothers is.
  She played Jennifer, the youngest (and later next-to-youngest) child in Family Ties. Then... She fell off the face of the planet. ;)


• You wanted to be a Goonie. Sort of.


• You felt ashamed when Rob Lowe got in trouble for sex with minors and videotaping it, because you liked him.
  Uh, no (I think some items on the list are geared toward women).


• You had top-of-the-line Commodore 64s in your jr. high computer lab. Worse, TRS-80's. But, I had a Commodore *128* at home. :)


• You know who Max Headroom is.
  Yeap. I even watched his short-lived TV show.


• You even wore fluorescent, neon if you will, clothing. Uhm, maybe.


• You could breakdance, or wish you could. Wish, maybe.


• You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.
  Not really. Spider-Man, actually.


• You Believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!"
  No, I did watch the He-Man cartoon, but I wasn't a freak about it.


• Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away. Probably.


• You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.
  Definitely thought they were awesome. Kept all of them in storage until just recently when I sold them on eBay. Parting with Optimus Prime, Jetfire, Metroplex, Soundwave, the Constructicons, and the Combaticons was not easy. Like selling a piece of childhood (but, I can't help it, Transformers, even out of the box, still sell surprisingly well on eBay).


• You can, right now, hum to yourself the theme to 'Inspector Gadget'. Yeap.


• You wanted to be on Star Search. Nooo.


• You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
  Probably; did't pay much attention.


• You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth, or knew someone who did.
  Uhm, no. Another girl question.


• You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout". Yeap.


• You HAD to have your MTV.
  As Cooper and her sidekicks stated on the radio, you're a child of the '80's if you remember when MTV played music.


• You remember when Kramer was on a show called 'Friday's'. Nope.


• You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future".
  Oh yeah. The third movie is actually my favorite. Whenever it comes on TV, my body and mind become paralyzed, and I simply *must* watch.


• You know where to go if you "wanna go where everybody knows your name".
  Cheers. I don't think you have to be a child of the '80's to know that one.


• You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool. Not really.


• You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.
  Never saw it; never wanted to.


• You heard of Garbage Pail Kids.
  Yes. Didn't collect them, but my cousins did. Very gross.


• You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called "Prince".
  Sort of. Not much into music in the '80's.


• You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played "Sam" to be.
  Uhh. "Watchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?!?"


• You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.
  Yeap. In fact, it's the only one I ever owned. Never did get a Nintendo, Sega, XBOX, or anything else since then. I remember my parents becoming un-characteristicly addicted to the game Asteroids. They probably played even more than I did, to the point that my mom actually got a common '80's affliction--"Atari Thumb".


• You own(ed) any 'cassette singles'.
  Just a few. Usually better to get the whole album on cassette, and only if you knew at least three of the radio releases were "awesome" or "radical" first.


• You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.
  Not necessarily living on the moon, but where's my freakin' flying car?


• You remember and/or own any of the Care Bear Glass collection from Pizza Hut. Or any other stupid collection they came out with.
  No, but I think I did collect the Shirt Tales stuffed animals (when I was really young). I think they were available via a restaurant; not sure it was Pizza Hut though.


• Poltergeist freaked you out.
  The bits and pieces I saw did, when my cousins were watching at the beach on a family trip one year. In general, horror movies still freak me out (or anger me if they're just stupid).


• You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.
  Possibly. It was probably Dukes of Hazzard, Knight Rider, or Transformers instead.


• You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
  Yeah, that is a good question. What a shallow gene pool. Do you think she was responsible for birthing the entire population of the village? We never did see her pregnant. Maybe Smurfs gestate in the womb very quickly. Weren't all Smurfs adults? I wonder if they were born as adults or if they had accelerated aging. Maybe there were other Smurf villages, and there was one Smurfette per village. But, then where did all the Smurfettes come from? Maybe Smurfs did not gestate inside a Smurfette womb but instead grew in "fibrous husks" like the J'naii, the androgynous race from the Star Trek: The Next Generation fifth season episode "The Outcast". This is all definitely, very worth pondering. Don't you think?


• You know what a Doozer is. Uhh. "Watchu talkin' 'bout now, Willis?!?"


• You wore bike shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or knew someone who did.
  You know, not really. Neither the bike shorts nor the skirt, not in the '80's or ever.


• You ever had a Swatch Watch.
  Don't think so, but I was always tempted to spend actual money on one of the giant size Swatch Watch wall decorations.


• You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
  I was probably more of an early/mid 1990's SNL watcher. But, I do remember when Benny Hill still came on late night TV. The Benny Hill theme music never ceases to be funny. Speed up almost any video footage and set it to Benny Hill music and it's funny. As long as there's farting and Benny Hill music, comedy will never die.


• You had Wonder Woman or Superman underoos.
  Wonder Woman, uh, no. Superman, maybe. Batman, far more likely. Spider-Man, very good chance. Robin or Aquaman, I was a kid so I didn't know any better.


• You know what a "Whammee" is..
  I think it's a reference to the cartoon monsters that stole your winnings and made you lose your turn on the game show Press Your Luck. Is there another kind of Whammee?

If you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend, are a "Child of the 80's".
Of course, if you were born in America in the mid '70's to early '80's and your parents didn't keep you under a rock, you really don't need the list to prove it. ;)